Life

I am so tired. Tired of studying, tired of guessing, tired of everything.

But I know that I can't do anything. What else can I do? There are so many things in this world which is out of my control. Sigh. At the first place, I will always try my best to make it the best. But if I really can't control the situation, I can only accept it, let go and move on. And this is called life.

Emo

I accidentally listened to some piano songs which I never listen for ages. Suddenly, all the memories flow back to me.

These were the songs that I liked to listen and played last time. Everytimes I played those songs, he always sat beside me, listening carefully to every note I played and gave me a smile which really made me melted everytime I finished playing the songs. I actually almost forget the feeling when I was with him. But after I listened to the songs, I had a flash back to the times, recalled to all the memories between me and him. His eyes, his smiles and his everything are really so hard for me to forget. Awww. I am so emo right now.

Boy, you never know how much I loved you. I never love someone else more than I loved you. But you really disappointed me. Because of you, I lose the ability to love. I never dare to be the real me, be true to others, never dare to love a person because you made me know how sad it was when I was being abandoned by the one that I loved. You made me know that I must have the courage to let it go before I decide to pick up the thing. That's why I never dare to pick up a single thing after that because I wondered whether I can really let it go if the same thing happens again. But sorry boy, you are no longer in my mind. I just miss the time, not you!

One day you will realise you lose a diamond when you were too busy collecting stones XD

The guy is so rude!

Just now, on my way back after I took away my dinner, I saw a couple quarreling in front of my house. I can't really hear what they are fighting about, but two of them were so fierce to each other.

The guy kept shouting to the girl. The girl was so hurt and I saw her crying but the guy continued shouting at her, and i heard the girl said, "how can you use that to threaten me?" something like that. Eventually, the girl cannot stand it anymore and she shouted back at the guy also. But you know what the guy did!!?? He slapped her!!!! WTF! The guys was so rude! The girl cried out loud. And the girl was still there trying to explain! WTH!! What was she thinking? She still want the guy back? Or else why she wanna explain to the guy? And obviously, the guy refused to listen to her explanation. If I were the girl, I would just slap the guy back and leave. How can she accept her boyfriend shouting at her in the public, and even slap her. My god! There is not only one guy in this world girl! Sigh. You deserve someone better. And I heard the guy saying "you go back yourself!" something like that, then the girl really wanted to leave. But the guy suddenly snatched the phone from her, and threating to throw the phone to the middle of the road. So the girl could not contact her friend to come and fetch her back. The guy is so lame!!!

I think I am so luckly because I never meet this kind of guy in my life yet! Thank god!

Stress!!!

I feel so stress now!!! Argh. It is because:

1. FINAL exam is really coming. But I haven't finish my preparation. I am seriouly running out of time. I have to cover 4 more modules in just 2 weeks! Help!
2. My progress is so slow! I actually started long time ago because I dun wanna do last minute again but I end up running out of time again!
3. I can't really focus on my study although I keep looking at my lecture notes. I was being distracted by tv, laptop, bed etc.
4. I'm aiming first class for my second year result. I know it is hard, especially for me because I never pay attention in the class. But I really wanna get it please. If I can't get first class in this year, next year will be even harder for me to get it.

Sigh. My mind is only full of exam and study right now. Nothing else. First Class is the only thing I want now. So friends, just bear with me nowadays...I know I will make you guys very stress, but I just can't help it. Hehe. Can anyone teach me how to reduce stress!! I am getting depress!

Friday after class, Chun Jui, Mei Yee and me went to the career fair in MPH. We went to many booth, Price Waterhouse, E & Y, Sunway group etc, but obviously we could not get any benefit from this visit. Because all of them told us the same thing: "Please send us your resume, we will look through it". But when we told them that we already submitted our resume in March, they said they were not sure and MAYBE are still in the shortlisting process. Sigh. And all of them told us that result is very important, this made me so much nervous about my coming exam again.

After that, Mei Yee fetched me and CJ to SS15 to take our lunch. Haha. We took our lunch in Pork Noodle there. CJ's friend also joined us.

Then, Mei Yee fetched me back to Lakeside Campus again because I wanted do my revision there. I just cannot do it at home. Bed, computer, television can really distract me. Sigh. I studied there with Visha until 530pm only. I planned to study until 10pm, but I was really not comfortable with the formal wear, so I gave up my plan.

At night, Jun Ho suddenly called me at 11pm something and asked me to go out yuncha since he was nearby. So random. And at that time I just finished bathing and my hair was so wet. Paiseh to go out. So I let him wait downstair until I finished drying my hair. Paiseh.

I am really so stressed out now. Exam is really approaching but my progress is damn slow. My god. And my CF lecture notes are so useless. No much information. I have to read the text book or else I dunno how to do my tutorial. And the text book is so thick. Sigh. Sometimes I really feel like tearing my Arnold.

Lazy to go class but Sunway Pyramid!

Wednesday, I was really too tired. I slept from 830pm until 930am the next day. 13 hours!! I was so shocked when I woke up at 930am. I wasted one night for not studying anything. Sigh. Anyway, I was too lazy to go class. Since I already woke up so late, I decided to skip all my class yesterday. Haha.

I had a nice breakfast in Macdonald. Then Xiu Bao came over my place to study together with me. At around 4pm, we went to Sunway Pyramid because I urgently need a formal wear.

We took our dinnner in a Korean Restaurant there, but I forgot what is the name of the restaurant already.

My spicy chicken bla bla bla.

Korean Rice Cake.

Her Bibimbap.

However, the food quite disappointed me. I am really picky in Korean food after I worked in the Korean Restaurant during my last year holidays.

And I just realised that I really love to eat extra spicy food when I am stressed out or emo. Lol. It is so weird but I really felt much better everytime I ate that =3

I wanna be a man!

If I can choose next time, I will definitely choose to be a guy.

First, girls have to care about the appearance all the time. The reason is guys (most of the guys) only love pretty girls. To them, girls must be pretty, slim, tall, sexy, etc. But for girls, we seldom care about whether the guys are good-looking or not. Instead, we only want to find a guy who has a good character and can treat us very well. Thats why there is a story named Beauty and The Beast. Haha.

So, girls have to wake up very early everyday for preparation before we go to school or work. It is so tiring. And for me, I have to wake up about one hour and 15 minutes earlier everyday.
Reason:
Bath - 20 minutes
Dry hair - 15 minutes
Brush teeth and wash face - 5 minutes
Contact lens - 2 minutes
Hydrating gel - 1 minute
Sunblock - 1 minute
Concealer -3 minute
Foundation - 1 minute
Eyeliner - 10 minutes
Mascara - 15 minutes
Blusher - 1 minute
Lipgloss - 1 minute

But guys only need to wake up 15 minutes earlier everyday. So, in a year, girls have to spent 365 more hours (75-15 minutes * 365) exluding the time to remove all the make up. Sigh.

Besides, girls have a close friend which will find her every month!!!

Also, if a guy go and flirt with many girls, people will only say he is a playboy, but if a girl do so, people will say you are slutty!!

And if there is any rumours about a girl having sex with someone, no matter it is true or not, the girl just cannot say anything to defend herself. Because if she say no, people will still think she did it and she said no just to jaga her images only. But if she say yes, people will say she is shameless. And if she remains silent, people will still think she is guilty. So the outcome will still the same.

And also, the girl's value is depreciating because we are getting old everyday. But in contrast, guy's value is appreciating. The elder the guy, the more mature the guy is. So let's say if we find a guy which is around the same age with us, our value now is higher than him because now he got no career, no car, no money etc. But soon, one day, when he got a good career and get rich, his value will be higher than us coz at that time, our value is already depreciated. So at that time, the guy may think that we can no longer satisfies him and he may have an affair. Haiz. That's why girls like to invest so much money into cosmetics and skin care.

So if I can choose next time, I wanna be a guy. No doubt.

PC fair

Atika asked me to go KLCC for PC fair. So I went out with Xiu Bao and Atika this afternoon. I actually got nothing to buy but I just wanted to go out as my life is really too boring. And I also feel like teman Atika. But anyway, after I went there, I just realised that Atika's "boyfriend" was also there. So she actually did not need me to teman one. Haha. Back to the guy, he is really not bad and also an Aiesec member!! Haha.

Anywhere, It is my first time been there after I came KL. Haha. Well. It is really classy enough but I really did not enjoy it because it was full of people. And the place was too large. There are about 2 ball rooms and 5 halls. WTH. I spent about 3 hours there. I never expected we would spend so long there. If I knew it, I would definitely took my lunch first. The story is like this. Atika wanted to buy a webcam from Microsoft. We searched from Hall 1 to Hall 5 but we could not find it. When she almost gave up already, we saw somebody holding the Mircosoft recycle bag. So we tried to search again back from Hall 5 to Hall 2. Finally we managed to find it in Hall 2. Then we wanted to go out through the entrance in Hall 1. But the stupid guard asked us to go out through the exit in Hall 5. So we got to walk again to Hall 5. WTH. It was really so tiring.

Oh ya. We saw Mei Yee working in the Avira booth haha. She was so pretty in her uniform =)

Then, Xiu Bao and I took dinner in the Little Penang Cafe. The food was nice especially the fried kueh tiaw. Must try!!

Then we went to Sunway Pyramid again coz I wanna buy formal wear. Actually I can buy in KLCC but it is really full of people. And it is very noisy there. I still prefer Sunway Pyramid!

I bought a formal wear in Nicole just now. But omg. The service was sucks. Because we entered the shop at about 930pm. And I kept trying coz I wanted to find out which blouses suit me more ma. Then the girls dun let me to try anymore at the end and told us that the shop is going to close after 6 minutes. So lazy!!! They only think to go back earlier. It should not be the way to serve customers. Walao. I am so pissed off by the girls there. Argh. I will never enter to the shop again!!

We wanted to watch movie in midnight time but there is no movie available. Sigh. So the only choice for us is to go back and continue my studies. Lol.

Emo...

I woke up again in the early morning automatically. It is Sunday. I wanted to sleep more but I could not. Sigh. It was like telling me that, "Penny. Time to wake up. It's time to face the reality. Don't just hide under the blanket and pretend like nothing happened". Sigh.

So I woke up, realising that I am still alive. Sometimes... I just wish that I could just die now so I do not need to face, to care about upcoming events. And I found that the air in my room is getting thinner and thinner, as if I will be stifled soon.

Everytime I was sad, I really feel like slowing my steps and settle my feeling before I move forward to a next step. But the real world never allow me to do so. First, there is really no time for me to slow down the step as there is really other more important for me to do. And everyone around me will ask me to let it go and move on. Also, I don't want people to worry about me. So I have to pretend like nothing happen, and continue my life with a fake smile. This really makes me so tired...

Bored

My life is really boring. Sigh. I really don't know what to blog already. Nothing much happened yesterday. I had a good lunch alone in Peppercorn. Then William and Wee Vian came to my house to borrow the tv for play station 2. And me, just sitting beside them and study Corporate Finance. Sigh. I have no life. Many friends msn'ed me asking me what I was doing. When I told them I was studying, their next question was about when is the exam. Then, they were all shocked when I told them my exam is in May. My preparation was just so early for them. All of them asked me to relax myself and said I am going depress already. Haha.

Xiu Bao is busy working nowadays. Sigh. No one to teman me to go out and it is Saturday. So I just stay at home for the whole day, studying and listening to songs. And I really feel like giving myself few slaps (Atika's quote haha). I studied for the whole day but only for one chapter. Sigh.

I start blogging again!

Hi friends. I am too bored recently so I start blogging again =)
I have deleted the previous blog and created a new one again. I want to forget all the unhappy past and move on. So this blog will record all my new life. Haha.

Anyway, I was too depress and emo last night. Something did happen. But I am not going to disclose the details to anyone. It was actually exactly the same as what I expected before. But I don't know why. I was just so sad until I could not focus in my studies anymore.

So I sms my bestie, Xiu Bao to teman me to go Little Bally (something like a bar). She was actually very tired coz she just came back from working. Anyway, she still teman me as she knew that I was really not okay. It was just so sweet when she sit beside me, teman me without asking me what was really happening. (I owe you a big favour girl. Thank you so much again)

After listening to some songs in Little Bally, I really felt much better. On the way back home, I went and bought few cans of beer. I am trully sorry Mr Sia. I promised you not to touch any alcoholic drink or at least call you everytimes before I want to drink. But I broke the promise. It was kinda late. I don't feel like disturbing you. And I really need beer or else I could not fall alseep. I am really sorry.

Anyway, I woke up unexpected early automatically today, without setting any alarm clock. It is so nice to enjoy the morning. And I feel so much better already. No, actually I can say I totally recover after I called Paul. He is always there whenever I need him. He is really a good listener although he dunno what is going on to me. But he said no matter what, I shouldn't let it to be a big deal. And life has to go on. So I choose to move on. Hahaha! And think positively, this matter is actually good for me.

Exam is really approaching. And study is the only thing that I should focus now. I am going to main campus to study now. Happy weekend everyone!